Nerd: A Definition and a Tribute

I think 'nerd' needs a revised definition. It has too many negative connotations, though I can't understand why. Those epitomes of nerdiness, Bill Gates and Steve Jobs are ridiculously rich and successful. So are the Google boys and countless other textbook nerds. So why do we still think of 'nerd' as an insult? Maybe it's because at the heart of it, a nerd is someone who doesn't fit in.

Fit in to what, though?

Are we still comparing ourselves to those jocks and cheerleaders in high school? Are we still afraid that after all these years Biff is going to give us wedgies and lock us in our lockers? A lot has happened since high school. Hopefully you've noticed that the ability to apply abstract thought and hold a meaningful conversation has gotten you more out of life than the ability to burp the ABC's in front of a packed cafeteria. Perhaps you've discovered that "your mom" jokes aren't nearly as helpful in a job interview as a good GPA and teacher recommendations.

If nerds can be so succesful, why do most definitions focus on their social ineptitude and irritating personalities? Surely there is more to a nerd than a pocket protector and glasses. I vote (and since it is my blog, mine is the only vote that counts) that we revise the definition of a nerd to eliminate the insult and pay homage to some nerds that you may not have thought of before.

Nerd (nûrd)
-noun slang

1. One who enjoys doing mental math while driving (or any other activity)
2. One who questions public wisdom and finds humor in everyday activities
3. One who enjoys playing with toys well into adulthood
4. Extreme intelligence in some areas offset by occasional lapses in judgement and inattention to detail

Perhaps my favorite nerd is Jane Austen. I realize that the worldwide testosterone council may consider revoking my membership for making such a statement, but hear me out. Anyone who equates Jane Austen with sappy love stories has either never read Jane Austen or wasn't nerdly enough to understand the books. Jane Austen was an expert in poking fun at the social customs of the day and her books are chock full of nerdy characters spinning circles of witty dialogue around their less intelligent neighbors. Pride and Prejudice has some absolute gems in the repartee between Mr. Bennet and his wife.

Matt Groening, creator of "The Simpsons" (do you need any more evidence?) has a degree in Philosophy. No wonder Bart is so smart. PS - I think Bart's a nerd too.

Al Gore invented the internet and took global warming terror to a whole new level. Hmm, I don't know if nerd is quite the right word...

Any parent is worthy of taking on the nerd title. The mere fact that you thought it would be a good idea to give life to and take care of a child is a demonstration of an extreme lapse in judgement. That fact that you didn't kill that child the first time it woke you up in the middle of the night is further evidence of your nerdy intelligence that one day that child will pay for your retirement. Hats off to all parents. Wear your nerd badge with pride.

Jodie Foster has a Literature degree from Yale. If that isn't enough, she starred in "Contact." Yeah, she's a nerd.

So come out of the shadows, nerdlings. You have great company. The only rquirement to be a nerd is to elevate yourself above the common rabble and act like one.