Nerd for President

The media hype surrounding this presidential election is incredible. It has spawned all kinds of hillarity such as Stephen Colbert jumping on the ballot in South Carolina, political games, and private citizens stating their own platforms. I won't go so far as to say that pantsuits have become a fashion statement, but the election is the main source of news in this country.

It occured to me that what this country really needs is a nerd as president. I don't feel like nerdy needs are properly being addressed by the establishment. Ronald Reagan, with his "Star Wars" program was the last president/candidate to appeal to nerds (unless you count Al Gore inventing the internet, which we don't). What we need is a president who will take us to the future. You may wonder why we don't have flying cars, public space travel, or a bid to enter the united federation of planets. We would if a nerd had been running things. So what else would change with a nerd for president?

• The Secret Service would carry lightsabers.
• Why is the alternative fuel program mucking around with ethanol? We should be looking for dilithium crystals!
• In the interests of saving tax dollars, Congress would be outsourced to India and China.
• Tax credits would be available for anyone able to solve differential equations on their form 1040.
• Klingons would finally be allowed to join the UN.
• All defense programs with the word "LASER" in the title would be automatically funded.
• Amnesty would be given to all illegal aliens who can prove they came from a different planet.
• Our new helicopters really would transform into killer robots.

I suppose the real qestion is, who do we get to run? Steve Jobs could do it, especially if we started a rumor that everyone who voted for him would get an iPod. Bill Gates wouldn't even need to raise money. I bet we could even get Al Gore to take up our cause if we could convince him that it would make a cooler movie. What do you think?